Karaoké The Real Slim Shady Eminem

Shh
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here
Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy
Just burst in the door and started whooping her ass worse than before they first were divorced
Throwing her over furniture
It's the return of the
Ah wait, no way, you're kidding
He didn't just say
What I think he did, did he?
And Doctor Dre said
Nothing, you idiots
Doctor Dre's dead
He's locked in my basement
Feminist women love Eminem
Chigga chigga chigga
Slim Shady I'm sick of him
Look at him walking around grabbing his you-know-what flipping the you-know-who yeah but he's so cute though
Yeah I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than what's going on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose but can't
But it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
My bum is on your lips
My bum is on your lips
And if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is by the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel
Don't they?
We ain't nothing but mammals well some of us cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel
I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose sing the chorus and it goes
'Cos I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady
Please stand up
Please stand up
Please stand up
'Cos I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady
Please stand up
Please stand up
Please stand up
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
Well I do so fuck him and fuck you too
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
But Slim what if you win?
Wouldn't it be weird?
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Yo shit Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to
Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
Little bitch put me on blast on MTV
Yeah he's cute but I think he's married to Kim hee-hee
I should download her audio on MP3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me so I have been sent here to destroy you
And there's a million of us just like me who cuss like me who just don't give a fuck like me
Who dress like me walk talk and act like me
It just might be the next best thing but not quite me
'Cos I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady
Please stand up
Please stand up
Please stand up
'Cos I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady
Please stand up
Please stand up
Please stand up
I'm like a head trip to listen to 'cos I'm only giving you things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it and whether you like to admit it I just shit it
Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums
Like valiums it's funny 'cos at the rate
I'm going when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
Pinching nurses asses when
I'm jacking off with Jergens
And I'm jerking but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurking
He could be working at Burger King spitting on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot circling screaming I don't give a fuck with his windows down and his system up
So will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
And one more time loud as you can how does it go
I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady
Please stand up
Please stand up
Please stand up
'Cos I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady
Please stand up
Please stand up
Please stand up
'Cos I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady
Please stand up
Please stand up
Please stand up
'Cos I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady
Please stand up
Please stand up
Please stand up
Ah ah
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it
Let's all stand up