I tell ya I'm alright now but last week I was in rough shape
But I don't get a break with nothin'
I played hide and seek when I was three
Why they couldn't even look for me
I was an ugly kid
I never had fun
They put me through a dog show and I won
When I was born
I brought no joy
My old man said he wanted a boy
I was an ugly kid always alone
Halloween I had to trick or treat over the phone
Friends don't call
My phone don't ring
I don't get a break with anything
Ah death where is my sting
I'm getting old it's hard to face
Well during sex
I lose my place
Steak and sex my favorite pair
I have 'em both the same way very rare
I know I'm old
I could go any minute
I got a kidney shaped pool with a stone in it
Mmh doctor Vinnie Boombah that's another one
I said I wanted to stop aging he gave me a gun
I told him I got water on the knee
He gave me a sponge and raised his fee
Ah it ain't easy bein' me
Mmh nothin' goes right
I just can't fight it
Well eastern airlines thanked me for flying united
I got some money
What did I do?
I bought some quicksand the deal fell through
My car broke down
I called Triple A
They left the car and towed me away
I can't take it no more
I'm getting too old
I called suicide prevention they put me on hold
Winter summer spring and fall
I'm always up against the wall ah I don't get no respect at all
It's getting worse it's caving in the happiness I can't take it no more it's all over
Hey where are my kids?
Somebody help me
Hey who's that guy with my daughter?
Where's my wallet?
How do I get out of here?